FORCED MARRIAGES
The setup of many of the shelters — with related men and women staying in the same tent or room together — has even lent itself to a trend many of the female refugees do not welcome at all: forced marriages. Samsidar, who heads a subcommittee of the National Commission on Violence against Women, says young women are being pressured to marry males staying in the same tents or barracks. Such marriages have become "an informal rule," she says. Journalist Wijaksana, for his part, says that the pressure to marry is greater on young single women because he says that in Aceh, virgins are preferred to widows, who tend to be looked down upon.

	DOUBLE BURDEN. Acehnese women take part in cash-for-work activities organized in the refugees camps, but they have to do the housework and take care of children as well.

"For men the loss of wife seems a simple thing," he adds. Besides, says Wijaksana, the shari'ah law forbids women from remarrying within three months of the deaths of their spouses. Men can remarry any time. Nana of the Humanist Institute for Cooperation with Developing Countries (Hivos) cites the case of a man in Malaboh on the Sumatran coast who married his sister-in-law only a week after his wife disappeared as a result of the tsunami. He thought she was dead, says Nana. A month later, the wife resurfaced.

Oxfam says that forced marriage has serious implications on the education, livelihood, and reproductive health especially of young women. "Surviving women may also be encouraged to have more children, with shorter intervals between them, to replace those lost by the community," it also says. "Again, this has consequences for their reproductive health and their ability to earn an independent income."

Compared to the men, there are fewer Acehnese women who have had some education, since families give priority to sending the male children to school. This practice is rooted in the belief that the women's best place is the home — even though they are not recognized as household heads.

Hivos's Nana says some of the women in the shelters who participate in cash-for-work activities have admitted to her that all they could do was cry when their husbands would not let them leave for work without first making sure that their homes were in order. Such was their fate, the women said.

The harsh truth is that the social position of women in Aceh accounts for their disproportionate number of deaths, say local and international NGO workers. Because the tsunami smothered the province on a Sunday, most of the women and children were at home while many of the men were out — socializing, running errands, or fishing. Other men had also not returned home for quite some time because their jobs were elsewhere. Ironically, 70 percent of Aceh's pre-tsunami population consisted of women, because men were either being killed or were fleeing the conflict between the Indonesian military and separatist Free Aceh Movement or GAM.

But most Acehnese women, unlike the men, do not know how to climb trees or swim, say some observers. This made it difficult for them to escape the raging waters of December 26. Yet even those who did know how to climb trees or could swim perished in the end because they were either dragged down by the sheer weight of the children and other family members that they tried so hard to save — in keeping with their traditional role as caregivers — or succumbed eventually to fatigue. Observers theorize that the long, flowing clothing that cover their arms and legs restricted the movement of the Acehnese women, frustrating their escape from the tsunami.

FINDING THEIR VOICE
Aid worker Nana of Hivos fears that Aceh's women survivors could only become a weaker force now that their numbers have been diminished greatly,while men could emerge more dominant. Before the tsunami, women were already reluctant to speak, especially in public gatherings. Even now, despite all the hardships they have had to endure in postdisaster Aceh, many women are hesitant to voice out their concerns.

But gender and poverty expert Yulfita Rahardjo says Acehnese women can strengthen their position if only they could be made aware of their rights. She concedes, though, that men will have to be educated as well on gender issues. In a gender training she conducted a few months ago in Jakarta for the subdistrict heads and planners in Aceh, she says it was evident that the participants — mostly male 1 did not understand the concept of gender and even blamed the women if they were not being heard, saying the women refused to talk.

Yet women in Aceh have not entirely kept mum about their needs and aspirations. Some, for example, have expressed their desire to go back to their homes and start a small-scale business so they could rebuild their lives.

Nani Zulminarni, head of the women's rights group Pekka, says the women in the districts where her organization operates were unanimous in saying that they did not want to be dependent on others. Alongside their yearning to work is their dream to have a house again, a symbol of dignity, especially for Acehnese women.

"No one expressed desperation and hopelessness," says Zulminarni, who notes that providing livelihood is a very good starting point for empowering women. She says the grassroots women's groups Pekka has helped have gained so much respect that their members are now being invited to important community gatherings. Says Zulminarni: "It's a good sign."

Sylvia Agustina, program officer of the U.N. Development Fund for Women (Unifem) says her vision for her fellow Acehnese women is not just for them to return to their "normal" lives. Agustina, who also lost a number of her loved ones to the tsunami, says, "I want them to have an option."