NOW PERSONALLY, I have never had a verbal exchange like that with any of my friends, male or female. But I am beginning to dread that I just might someday. Not that I use whitening products, but, given the evidence from that time in high school up to the present, it seems irrefutable that I am, contrary to my previous belief, vain.

I visit my barber in Greenhills once a week — and while this does, indeed, occur at a barbershop, I not only have my head shaved and my beard and moustache trimmed, I have my feet tended to, as well. When I feel particularly filthy, I have a facial. Once in a while, my barber takes it upon himself to shape my eyebrows with a razor — I'm still not sure I approve of this, but I've never stopped him, either. And that's not all my barbershop offers. I can opt for an Iontophoresis, Deep Laser Cleaning, Skin Bleaching, Skin Whitening, Underarm Whitening, Wart Removal, Paraffin Waxing, Hair Dyeing, Hair Rebonding, something called "Kilay," and a host of other services I never thought would be found in a bastion of manliness.

These days, most women will tell you that they don't necessarily pamper and primp in order to please men; they do it to please themselves. Most vain men, I think, will tell you exactly the opposite: we like to look good because women like men who look good. Because when all is said and done about socio economic factors, media proliferation, and all that, what we Pinoy peacocks really have in common, before anything else, is that we are romantics.

Unlike males of many other ethnicities, we still take courting seriously. Even married men like me still make ligaw, in a sense, and we go whole hog when we do it: we buy the flowers, we pick up the check, we open doors and pull chairs out for the objects of our affections. Heck, many of us would probably still be willing to whip our name-brand jackets off our backs and lay them across mud puddles so our women wouldn't have to step 10 measly inches out of their way. Compared to that, what's a little extra effort to smell nice and try to look like someone they'd actually be willing to be seen with in public?

So what I'm saying is, when you get right down to it, Filipino male vanity probably stems from one unifying cultural imperative: to woo women (or, well, men, depending on your gender preference). Even women we're already married to, women we have no actual romantic or sexual interest in, women we know we don't have a chance in hell of even speaking to at all. It's not just to get someone into bed (not that we'd mind); it's to merit, at the very least, that look in a woman's eye that says, "You know, that guy's not bad." Because this is what we're thinking (well, let's just say we're a little more visceral about it) when we look at women all the time. And it's simply nice to have the positive appraisal reciprocated once in a while.

Therefore, ladies, when you see men like me preening or looking bewildered yet grimly determined in the facial cleanser aisle of your favorite personal care store, remember that we're most likely doing it, ultimately, for you.

Now will you please stop laughing?

Alfar's article included quotes from various sources, including Newsbreak's "The Business of Beauty" article from its December 2003 issue.