Living with alcoholics

ALCOHOLISM is one of the toughest problems to solve, says sociologist Ricardo Zarco. This is primarily because only few people would admit that they have a problem to begin with. Also, many will not consider it a disease, which, experts say, is the hardest to cure among all addictions.

The stories of two family members featured in this podcast illustrate the difficulty of living with an alcoholic. Both share the pains they went through, how they managed to cope, and how forgiveness, according to them, can still be possible.

Anne, not her real name, is a wife of an alcoholic.

“In my thoughts, I’ve killed him a million times,” recounts Anne, who, for 11 years, has been married to an alcoholic. Her husband would drink every day, spend nearly all of his money on drinking sprees, and neglect his duties at home. During fights, he would hit Anne, even when the children were around, and could not remember doing it when he woke up with a hangover the next day.

Despite all the physical and verbal abuse, Anne says she tried her best to help him. But after putting her husband through detoxification and rehabilitation twice, he still went back to drinking. Seeing no hope, Anne had to make the painful decision to leave him.

Anne has since joined a “therapy group” for co-dependents of alcoholics. She realizes now that she wasn’t responsible for her husband’s addiction, and that no matter how she tried, there was no way she could have made him quit. “It’s a decision that one has to make,” she says.

Listen to her story.

In Part 1, Anne tells us about her husband’s illness and the ordeal she and her kids went through.
Length: 00:08:34
File size: 7.85 MB

In Part 2, Anne discusses the reasons behind her husband’s addiction. She also shares how hard it was for her to arrive at the decision to leave him for good.
Length: 00:06:34
File size: 6.01 MB

In Part 3, Anne talks about her therapy — how it has helped her understand that alcoholism is a actually a disease and that a person afflicted with it should seek help. She also offers advice to families who are still struggling with the same problem.
Length: 00:05:34
File size: 5.10 MB

In this next podcast, Romanne Posadas talks about how it’s like growing up with an alcoholic.

Romanne, 27, grew up in a troubled home. He says he used to fear the wee hours of the morning when his father would come home drunk. He would wake him up, and ask what must be the most absurd question to a six-year-old: “Who do you love more — me or your mother?”

“I grew up in fear (of my father),” Romanne says, explaining that when his parents had a fight, his father would sometimes pick up and throw any appliance, or even furniture, he could get hold of. But when he was sober, his dad could actually be very kind and loving.

In Part 1, Romanne shares details about his father’s illness.
Length: 00:04:29
File size: 2.5 MB

In Part 2, Romanne tells us how he and his mom carried most of the burden in those seven years when his father was heavily drinking.
Length: 00:04:25
File size: 2.5 MB

In Part 3, Romanne reads his father’s letter, promising to never drink again. This promise was never fulfilled, Romanne says, but at least, his father is now drinking less. He says he has forgiven his father and swears to never become an alcoholic.
Length: 00:03:34
File size: 2.0 MB